So obviously there seems to be some unjustified police brutality out there, and it is an awful thing. But, no doubt, at least some of that can be avoided by people not breaking the law in the first place.
Right?
What are your thoughts?
Chris Rock - How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police!
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Saturday Night Live TSA Skit
The TSA: It's our business to touch yours. Perfect for those days when you feel lonely.
Two Irani Mothers
Two Irani mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk.
The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now."
"Yes, I remember him as a baby," says the other mother cheerfully.
"He's a martyr now though," the mother confides.
"Oh, so sad, dear," says the other.
"And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21."
"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "He had such curly hair when he was born."
"He's a martyr, too," says the mother quietly.
"Oh, gracious me..." says the other.
"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would have been 18," she whispers.
"Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."
"He's a martyr also," says the mother, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Irani mother looks wistfully at the photographs and, searching for the right words, says "They blow up so fast, don't they?"
The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now."
"Yes, I remember him as a baby," says the other mother cheerfully.
"He's a martyr now though," the mother confides.
"Oh, so sad, dear," says the other.
"And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21."
"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "He had such curly hair when he was born."
"He's a martyr, too," says the mother quietly.
"Oh, gracious me..." says the other.
"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would have been 18," she whispers.
"Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."
"He's a martyr also," says the mother, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Irani mother looks wistfully at the photographs and, searching for the right words, says "They blow up so fast, don't they?"
Elena Kagan is Ugly
Some people might think this picture is rude, but let's be honest with ourselves... She is ugly.
Via
New Eco-Friendly Cigarettes Kill Destructive Human Beings Over Time
Finally, a solution to global warming, get rid of humans. From The Onion:
RICHMOND, VA—Executives at Philip Morris USA this week unveiled Marlboro Earth, a new eco-friendly cigarette that gradually eliminates the causes of global warming and environmental destruction at their source.
"By killing off the No. 1 threat to the environment, new Marlboro Earths will have a long-term effect on the overall health of our planet," Philip Morris spokesperson Janet Weiss said. "If everyone in America does their part and joins our new green-smoking movement, then together we can eradicate man's destructive practices once and for all."
According to a press release from Philip Morris, the new environmentally friendly cigarettes work by employing powerful carcinogens that accumulate in the lungs of smokers, slowly breaking down their vital organs and eliminating the danger posed to the overpopulated planet by the human race.
Because Marlboro Earths take decades to work, the company stresses that people should start using them as early as possible, ideally during childhood or adolescence, in order to maximize the product's effectiveness.
For anyone not aware, The Onion is a fake, humorous, news source.
RICHMOND, VA—Executives at Philip Morris USA this week unveiled Marlboro Earth, a new eco-friendly cigarette that gradually eliminates the causes of global warming and environmental destruction at their source.
"By killing off the No. 1 threat to the environment, new Marlboro Earths will have a long-term effect on the overall health of our planet," Philip Morris spokesperson Janet Weiss said. "If everyone in America does their part and joins our new green-smoking movement, then together we can eradicate man's destructive practices once and for all."
According to a press release from Philip Morris, the new environmentally friendly cigarettes work by employing powerful carcinogens that accumulate in the lungs of smokers, slowly breaking down their vital organs and eliminating the danger posed to the overpopulated planet by the human race.
Because Marlboro Earths take decades to work, the company stresses that people should start using them as early as possible, ideally during childhood or adolescence, in order to maximize the product's effectiveness.
For anyone not aware, The Onion is a fake, humorous, news source.
Bronze Statue
A guy is visiting San Francisco, and walks into a small store in Chinatown.
He notices a small bronze statue of a rat.
He asks the owner "how much", and the owner replies "$50 for the bronze rat, and $1000 for the story behind it."
The guy says, "forget the story", and buys the rat.
As he's walking down the street he notices two live rats following him. As he continues to walk, more rats start following him.
He starts to get a little concerned, and heads for the waterfront. By the time he gets there there are thousands and thousands of rats following him.
He walks up to the end of the pier and throws the bronze rat into the bay, and the rats all follow and leap off of the pier and drown.
The guy rushes back to the store and walks in. The owner says, "Ah!, so your back for the story".
The guys says, "No, I was wondering if you have any bronze liberals?"
He notices a small bronze statue of a rat.
He asks the owner "how much", and the owner replies "$50 for the bronze rat, and $1000 for the story behind it."
The guy says, "forget the story", and buys the rat.
As he's walking down the street he notices two live rats following him. As he continues to walk, more rats start following him.
He starts to get a little concerned, and heads for the waterfront. By the time he gets there there are thousands and thousands of rats following him.
He walks up to the end of the pier and throws the bronze rat into the bay, and the rats all follow and leap off of the pier and drown.
The guy rushes back to the store and walks in. The owner says, "Ah!, so your back for the story".
The guys says, "No, I was wondering if you have any bronze liberals?"
